Friday, November 13, 2009

You choose the tough way!

I still remember when Hong Zheng was around five months, i still extract breast milk. To me, it was tough as only myself and hubby taking care of Hong Zheng after work. My hubby is a dummy in handling baby. He admitted this too. So, Hong Zheng was totally mine when we were at home. I need to feed him, bath him, diaper him and etc. Only i was away for washroom or bath, my hubby will keep an eye on him. My hubby is also a housework dummy. He admitted this too. So, i need to do housework when Hong Zheng fall to sleep. I change from some one who has luxury time for bed, ample time for series drama and movies become a timeless mom and wife. My sister advice me to quit breast feed but i insisted not to. She told me i choose the tough way.

Today, after switching from a career woman to a SAHM, i think i still choose the tough way. Why i always choose the tough way?? I do not know why i am and what i am either? I think i am a woman who is greedy in everything. I wish to give Hong Zheng the best for food, time and love... Now i need to stay at home with Hong Zheng, cook for family, do the housework instead of hiring someone for weekly cleaning. I am a typical house wife instead a SAHM. I have no saving, no more nice clothes, no more facial treatment, no more hair dressing, no more Sushi King and many more fine food from nice restaurant. My cousin met me the other day and said:" Auntie, you are really an auntie now!" My eldest sister ask me to color and perm my hair so it looks more neat but i tell her: " Spend so much to let who to see?"

Sister told me to send Hong Zheng to a nanny and i should go back to work since my ex-boss was trying to recommend job to me. I insisted to stay another year with Hong Zheng and mean while stay at home to learn blogging. She told me not matter how much time you spend with Hong Zheng, the return is not guaranteed! In fact, she is right. Can i guarantee Hong Zheng will become a good person when he grows up? I cannot but if i go to work, my saving for retirement is guaranteed!

After starting blogging, i need to stay night for blogging. I am getting lesser rest time. I have lesser time for housework and some times, messy house really drives me crazy. I am putting myself to a tiring and restless position. Why should i do so? I think to have a kid is a non-guarantee investment. We cannot expect the return but we can enjoy the process. To be a complete mom!

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